"HEARTache" - I wonder why?

Tears!!!! I have seldom found them on my eyes. Not even when mom & dad left me at the boarding school or when I got beaten by hockey sticks as punishment or when I failed to clear IIT after a year's relentless effort . It's not even when my sweet & lovely granny passed away. I may have been sad but the tears never found their way to the corners of my eyes. But that day I could not hold back the tears anymore. It was so very unnatural but it came naturally. I was so chocked with emotions that I could only manage to say "Bye" to her before I left.

I ask this question aloud in my head; Why is this injustice? We love someone so badly but then why can't they fathom the depth of our love. I don't know the answer. But then we keep following our heart knowing the question all along; only to fall in love to fall apart. I too followed my heart... And where did my heart led to? Peaches. Yes, that what I call her lovingly.

Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever.

If you have ever fallen in love, you will know what it feels like to be in love. Love has its own color. Not a day goes by when you never thought of your love. You find all excuses just to be with that special person. You could talk to him/her as hours seems seconds. You relate things that happened to you with love of your life. You surprise her. You care for her. You dream of her and you long for her. In company of your friends you miss her. You beg, pray and bribe god to let your love be part of your life. You actually plan your whole life with that person. You made your heart open and let the person know how much you love only to realize you have been unlucky. Your love was never yours. The bubble bursts. The euphoria evaporates. The color of the love fades.

Heartbroken... the realization sets in. You are sad, angry, hurt, shattered and you are in much pain. The heartache is intense. You want to cry, you want to shout. But you are helpless. You know you can't do anything but wait!!! All that you can do is sigh and wonder Why? Why? & Why?. You try to hate the person who broke your heart but then you just can't. The irony is love makes you forgiving. You still wish all the happiness for the person you lost. Your heart doesn't have a mechanical switch which you turn off to ease the pain and forget about the person who was your world. Wish God has made that switch !!! There may not be a silver lining in this darkest hours of life but then isn't life about enjoying both good and bad. You go through the rough weather to appreciate the beauty of sunshine!!! 

I had the most wonderful time with her. The moments spent with her are souvenir for rest of my life. Regrets? Hmmm... Only regret I will have is not be able to see her in the gorgeous red dress that I gifted on her birthday. Ohh, no!! Not the regret of failiing in love. The choice of winning or losing was never with me; even then I feel a sense of peace in this most doomed of situation as I played with all my heart. This is the worst part of being in love but then, nobody said Love is easy....

As I put my pen down;  I just wonder... "I never knew it would be this hard to lose something I never had." Let me move on...