Why am I angry? Is it because she did not act the way I wanted her to act, may be... BUT its actually correct. I am angry because of her actions alone. In collage, Sushant used to come up with new pranks to see me get mad. But he has always lost the bet. So what has changed in these 3 years!!!!
Flashback, three months before ------ She used to act the same weired way as she is acting now. Sometime few of my friends also act in the same weired way. But I have never taken these things neither to my heart nor to my head. So WHY these problems now. I wanted the answer... and I wanted the answer badly.
I need to ask somebody for answer. Friends or Family (my dear mom).. a choice needs to be made. Hope the toss of the coin works. Head its friends; Tails its mom. Wait... But who knows me better than myself. Let me be nakedly honest with myself. Suggestion from dear ones are also welcome. Thinking, thinking n thinking.... Ticking of the clock... 1 sec, 2 sec.... 1 min.... 2 min... Ticking of the clock...30.. 40.. 45 min... 1 hour.
I need to ask somebody for answer. Friends or Family (my dear mom).. a choice needs to be made. Hope the toss of the coin works. Head its friends; Tails its mom. Wait... But who knows me better than myself. Let me be nakedly honest with myself. Suggestion from dear ones are also welcome. Thinking, thinking n thinking.... Ticking of the clock... 1 sec, 2 sec.... 1 min.... 2 min... Ticking of the clock...30.. 40.. 45 min... 1 hour.
A week prior to my separation from my workplace, sitting at breakfast table with my previous project tech lead Mr. Sreekumar, I was looking for some suggestions before I step out to the new world. After a bit of coaxing, he looked into my eyes and said the golden words..."You 'll do good where ever you go. Just keep in mind; do not search happiness in others & materialistic pleasures. Search it within you." I commented... Materialistic pleasures.. u mean car, house, gadgets etc rite. He was ready with the answer it seems. "Sweets, would do for you". He knows my fondness to sweets and I was putting on weight. We both laughed.
Yes, I have the answer now. The 1 hour of soul searching and couple of minutes of talk to a dear friend helped getting to know myself better.The answer was always there in front of me, but I was ever blind to see it......as someone said "LOVE IS BLIND". The answer was there in Sree's suggestion too. I was searching the happiness outside me. Its all got to do with my expectations. I care for her and so I expected the same favor in return. "What Bullshit !!!!", I shouted aloud. Getting to know root of the anger is so fulfilling. Its like half the battle won. The other half of the battle can only be won in taking action i.e. To search the happiness within me. Did I get it, Did I not... will always be there. But one thing is certain; I am now in Pursuit of Happyness....
Dear Bro, who is this "SHE"? Would you mind throwing some light?
ReplyDeleteWhen SHE come 2 ur life.???
ReplyDeleteWords straight out from ur Heart....in Pursuit of Happyness....btw did u get happiness within u ?? or still searching for "Sweets"...if so thn go to K.C Das ;-)
ReplyDeleteGuys...
ReplyDeletesorry for responding late.
There should be no name calling. The mystery sometimes works magic :) Don't you think so...
@Elley:
"Happiness is like a butterfly: (the one u tattooed on ur hand :)) The more you chase it, the more it elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and softly sit on your shoulder."
I have turned my attention to Sweets; just for a change. So when r u taking me to KC Das??